Therapy After Miscarriage: Emotional Healing for Women in Westfield NJ

You're walking through Mindowaskin Park, watching families with strollers, and the grief hits so hard you have to sit down on a bench and pretend you're just checking your phone. You're at the Westfield Farmers Market on Saturday morning, and someone asks when you're due, because you still look pregnant, even though you're not anymore. You're in the Target on Route 22, standing frozen in front of the baby section you now have no reason to visit, realizing you need to return the crib you ordered last month when everything still felt possible.

Miscarriage happens to approximately one in four pregnancies, yet it remains one of the most isolating experiences a woman can endure. In Westfield, where community is woven through school districts, temple and church groups, and neighborhood connections, the silence around pregnancy loss creates a particular kind of loneliness. Everyone knows everyone, yet no one talks about this.

The grief after miscarriage isn't just about losing a pregnancy. It's about losing the future you'd already imagined, the nursery you'd mentally decorated, the name you'd tentatively chosen, the announcement you'd planned, the person your child would have become. It's a loss that others often minimize ("at least you can try again," "it wasn't meant to be," "it happens to everyone") while you're experiencing it as the death of your child.

Understanding Grief That Has No Body, No Funeral, No Socially Recognized Rituals

Pregnancy loss exists in a uniquely difficult space: it's a death that much of society doesn't fully recognize as such. There's no funeral, often no remains to bury, no obituary, no casseroles brought to your door, no bereavement leave that matches the magnitude of your loss. Especially with early miscarriages, the majority occur before 12 weeks, many women haven't yet publicly announced their pregnancy, meaning they now grieve privately a loss no one else even knew existed.

In Westfield, where Jewish and Catholic communities are prominent, some women do access religious rituals that acknowledge pregnancy loss, Catholic memorial services, Jewish mourning prayers, but many don't, either because they're not religious, their loss happened too early for traditional rituals, or they feel their loss "doesn't count" for such ceremonies. This absence of ritual leaves grief uncontained, unwitnessed, and unacknowledged.

The physical aftermath compounds the emotional devastation. Some women miscarry naturally at home, experiencing hours of painful cramping and bleeding while passing tissue, a physically traumatic experience that happens in isolation, often in their own bathroom. Others undergo D&C procedures (dilation and curettage), going to Overlook Medical Center in Summit or similar facilities for what feels like a medical erasure of their pregnancy. The hormonal crash that follows, progesterone and hCG plummeting, produces physical symptoms: breast milk coming in for a baby you're not bringing home, continued pregnancy symptoms even after the loss, the body slowly returning to its pre-pregnancy state while your mind remains in a different reality.

Then there's the waiting. After miscarriage, doctors typically recommend waiting one to three menstrual cycles before trying to conceive again. For women desperate to be pregnant again, to "replace" what they've lost, these months feel interminable. Each period becomes a reminder of the loss, a monthly reopening of the wound.

The Specific Emotional Landscape of Miscarriage in Westfield

Westfield's character shapes how women experience pregnancy loss here. It's an affluent, family-oriented suburb where the central organizing principle of adult life is often children, their schools, sports, activities. Downtown Westfield is stroller central. Conversations revolve around kids' schedules and school events. Memorial Park is full of playground laughter. The community's identity is deeply tied to family life.

When you've suffered a miscarriage, this family-centered environment that once felt welcoming becomes painful. Every pregnant woman you pass on East Broad Street is a reminder. Every baby shower invitation feels impossible to navigate—do you go and suffer through it? Do you decline and risk questions? The Roosevelt Intermediate School pickup, the Westfield Y's parent-child swim classes, even temple or church services where families sit together, all become emotionally fraught spaces.

The achievement orientation that characterizes Westfield also affects how women process miscarriage. This is a town where people excel, where children get into top colleges, where adults are successful professionals. The unspoken message is that if you work hard enough, you can control outcomes. Miscarriage shatters that illusion. You did everything "right", took prenatal vitamins, avoided alcohol, ate well, saw your doctor, and your body still "failed." For high-achieving women accustomed to controlling outcomes through effort, this loss of control is particularly destabilizing.

There's also the comparison trap. In close-knit Westfield social circles, you know who's pregnant, who just had a baby, whose fertility journey was easy. The woman who got pregnant on the first try while you've now had two losses. The casual comment at book club about someone's "oops" pregnancy. The Facebook announcements that slice through you. The sense that pregnancy comes easily to everyone except you.

Financial stress adds another layer. Many Westfield residents have resources for fertility treatment if needed, but even with insurance, the costs are substantial, $15,000-$30,000 for IVF cycles, thousands for testing and monitoring. If your miscarriage followed fertility treatments, there's not just grief but also the financial sting of investment that yielded loss. If you're considering genetic testing to understand why the miscarriage happened, that's another expense insurance may not cover.

The Psychological Impact: Why Miscarriage Trauma Is Real Trauma

Research shows that 29% of women experience PTSD symptoms after pregnancy loss, and up to 50% experience anxiety or depression. These aren't just "sad feelings", they're clinical mental health conditions requiring treatment.

Miscarriage can be traumatic because trauma is defined not by the event itself but by how the person experiences it. Trauma occurs when something overwhelms your capacity to cope, shatters your sense of safety or control, and leaves you feeling helpless. For many women, miscarriage meets all these criteria.

The trauma might be the physical experience—hours of pain and bleeding, seeing tissue pass and knowing it was your pregnancy, the emergency room visit, the ultrasound where there's no heartbeat. It might be the loss of control—your body betraying you, medical events happening to you that you can't stop. It might be the shattering of assumed safety—the belief that if you do everything right, your pregnancy will be healthy.

PTSD symptoms after miscarriage can include:

• Intrusive memories of the moment you found out, the ultrasound image, the physical experience of miscarrying

• Flashbacks triggered by medical settings, pregnant women, or anniversaries

• Avoidance of anything pregnancy-related—baby sections of stores, friends with children, conversations about family planning

• Hypervigilance about body sensations if you become pregnant again

• Emotional numbing or feeling disconnected from yourself

• Difficulty concentrating or sleeping

• Heightened startle response and persistent anxiety

Even without meeting full PTSD criteria, most women experience complicated grief—grief that doesn't follow the expected trajectory of gradually lessening over time. Instead, it remains acute, interfering with daily functioning months or even years later.

Types of Miscarriage Loss and Their Unique Impacts

Early Miscarriage (Before 12 Weeks) The most common type, often occurring before women have announced their pregnancy publicly. The grief is compounded by secrecy—you mourn alone because few people knew you were pregnant. The dismissiveness you encounter ("it's so early," "it's just cells," "it happens all the time") invalidates your loss. You grieve not just the pregnancy but also the lost opportunity to have shared your joy before it ended.

Missed Miscarriage You attend a routine prenatal appointment expecting to hear a heartbeat, and instead learn the fetus stopped developing weeks ago—your body simply didn't recognize it. This type of loss is particularly disorienting. You still feel pregnant. You had no symptoms of miscarriage. The cognitive dissonance between feeling pregnant and being told you're not anymore creates a surreal, dissociative experience. You then face a decision: wait for your body to miscarry naturally, take medication to induce miscarriage, or undergo a D&C. None of these options feel right.

Multiple Losses Recurrent miscarriage (two or more consecutive losses) introduces a layer of anticipatory grief and trauma. If you become pregnant again, you can't experience joy, only dread. Every twinge, every bathroom visit checking for blood, every prenatal appointment filled with terror. The cumulative effect of multiple losses isn't just additive; it's exponential. Your sense of your body as trustworthy disappears. The question shifts from "will I have a baby?" to "will I ever be able to carry a pregnancy to term?"

Later Loss (After 12 Weeks) Less common but more publicly acknowledged. By the second trimester, most women have announced their pregnancy, chosen names, perhaps had a gender reveal. The loss is more visible—you might need to take medical leave, people at work knew you were pregnant, you have maternity clothes and baby items already purchased. There may be remains and the possibility of funeral services. While public acknowledgment can provide some validation, it also means your grief is more exposed, and people's discomfort with your loss affects more relationships.

Loss After Fertility Treatment When pregnancy follows IVF, IUI, or other fertility interventions, miscarriage carries the additional weight of time, money, physical interventions, and dashed hopes after a long struggle. The injections, the monitoring appointments, the hormonal roller coaster, all leading to loss. It feels particularly cruel, like a cosmic punishment for needing assistance to conceive.

What Therapy Looks Like for Miscarriage Grief

Therapy after miscarriage isn't about "getting over it" or "moving on", language that diminishes the significance of what you've lost. It's about integrating the loss, finding meaning, processing trauma, and rebuilding a sense of safety in your body and your life.

Validating the Legitimacy of Your Grief

The first and most fundamental role of therapy is to provide what the outside world often doesn't: unwavering validation that your loss matters, that your grief is proportionate, that your baby, regardless of gestational age, was real to you, and that deserves to be honored. A skilled therapist will never compare your loss to other losses or suggest you "should" feel any particular way by now.

Many women come to therapy feeling they're "making too big a deal" of the miscarriage because of how others have responded. They apologize for crying, for "still" being upset weeks or months later, for not being able to function normally. Therapy provides permission to feel the full magnitude of your grief without apologizing for it.

Processing Traumatic Elements Through EMDR or Trauma-Focused Therapy

If your miscarriage had traumatic components, the physical experience, the emergency room, the ultrasound revealing the loss—these memories may remain unprocessed, replaying intrusively and generating anxiety symptoms.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help reprocess these traumatic memories so they become integrated narrative memories rather than unprocessed, intrusive ones. The therapist identifies the worst moments—perhaps the moment you realized you were bleeding, or seeing the empty ultrasound screen—and uses bilateral stimulation to help your brain process these experiences.

Through EMDR, women often report that the memory loses its emotional charge. They can recall what happened without the visceral panic, the chest tightness, the feeling that it's happening again. The memory becomes something that happened to them rather than something that's still happening.

Addressing Complicated Grief Through Meaning-Making

Complicated grief therapy involves helping you develop a continuing bond with the baby you lost while also reinvesting in life. This isn't about "closure", a concept many bereaved mothers reject. It's about finding ways to carry your baby with you while also moving forward.

This might involve:

• Creating rituals to honor your baby, planting a tree, writing letters, creating a memory box

• Deciding how to talk about your loss with others

• Determining whether and how to acknowledge due dates or loss anniversaries

• Exploring questions of meaning: Why did this happen? What do I believe about where my baby is now? How does this loss change my understanding of myself and my life?

For women in Westfield's Jewish community, this might involve sitting shiva or saying Kaddish, adapted for pregnancy loss. For Catholic women, it might involve baptism of desire or a memorial mass. For secular women, creating personally meaningful rituals matters just as much.

Managing Anxiety About Future Pregnancies

If you plan to try to conceive again, therapy can help prepare you for the anxiety that will inevitably accompany subsequent pregnancies. After miscarriage, pregnancy never feels safe again. Every symptom is scrutinized. Every prenatal appointment is approached with dread rather than excitement.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps identify and challenge catastrophic thinking ("I'll definitely miscarry again," "My body can't sustain pregnancy"). Mindfulness-based approaches help you stay present with what's actually happening rather than living in feared futures. Some therapists help women create "safety plans" for managing anxiety during subsequent pregnancies, scheduled check-ins, earlier ultrasounds, permission to contact the doctor with concerns.

Navigating Relationship Impacts

Miscarriage affects partnerships. Partners often grieve differently—one may want to talk about the loss constantly while the other copes by not discussing it. One may be ready to try again immediately while the other needs time. Sexual intimacy can become fraught when it's linked to conception attempts. The pressure to get pregnant again can turn sex into a mechanical, anxiety-filled obligation rather than a source of connection.

Couples therapy helps partners understand each other's grief processes, communicate needs, and navigate decisions about trying again. A skilled couples therapist can help you grieve together even if you grieve differently, and can address the common pattern where one partner (usually the woman) feels abandoned in her grief while the other partner (often the man) feels helpless and unsure how to provide support.

Processing Secondary Losses

Miscarriage triggers multiple secondary losses beyond the pregnancy itself:

• Loss of innocence about pregnancy and your body

• Loss of the identity of "pregnant woman" and anticipation of "mother" (for first pregnancies)

• Loss of the timeline you'd planned for your family

• Loss of relationships with people who've been unsupportive

• Loss of the carefree excitement you thought you'd feel about pregnancy

• Loss of trust in your body and in the future

Therapy creates space to acknowledge these layered losses rather than focusing only on the pregnancy itself.

Practical Healing Strategies for Daily Life in Westfield

Managing Triggering Social Situations

Westfield's social fabric makes avoidance impossible. You'll encounter pregnant women, babies, and children everywhere. Therapy can help you develop strategies:

Preparing for Events: Before attending gatherings where you know there will be children or pregnant women, plan your exit strategy. How long will you stay? What will you say if you need to leave? Having a partner or friend who knows you're struggling and can provide cover ("We need to get going") helps.

Setting Boundaries: You're allowed to decline baby shower invitations, skip the temple or church service on Mother's Day, or leave the Westfield Farmers Market early. You don't owe anyone an explanation beyond "I'm not able to make it."

Scripting Responses: When people ask intrusive questions ("When are you having kids?" "Are you trying?"), having prepared responses prevents you from feeling ambushed. Depending on the relationship, options include: "We're not discussing our family planning," "That's a painful topic for us right now," or even the boundary-setting, "That's a private matter."

Creating Personal Rituals

Without societal rituals for miscarriage, creating your own matters. This might look like:

• Choosing a day to honor your baby, perhaps the due date or the anniversary of the loss

• Planting something living: a tree at your home, flowers in your garden, a donation to plant trees through environmental organizations

• Writing letters to your baby, expressing what you wish you could have said

• Creating art or poetry about your experience

• Making a charitable donation in your baby's name

• Participating in events like the Walk to Remember (pregnancy and infant loss awareness walks)

Westfield's Mindowaskin Park or the memorial garden at a local place of worship might become places where you go to feel close to your baby.

Deciding What to Do With Baby Items

If you'd purchased items for the baby, clothes, nursery decor, books, deciding what to do with them is deeply personal. Some women want them gone immediately because they're too painful to look at. Others want to keep everything, creating a physical connection to the baby they lost. There's no right answer.

Therapy can help you make this decision without pressure. Some women box items and store them, revisiting the decision later. Others donate to organizations helping families in need, finding meaning in the idea that these items will still serve babies, just not theirs. Some keep one or two special items, the first onesie purchased, a particular book—while letting go of the rest.

Managing the Physical Recovery While Emotionally Grieving

Your body recovers on a different timeline than your emotions. Physically, most women's hormone levels normalize within 4-6 weeks. Emotionally, grief may intensify during this period as the shock wears off and reality settles in.

Be gentle with physical expectations. You're recovering from both a medical event and an emotional trauma. If you're exhausted, if exercise feels impossible, if you need more sleep than usual, this is your body healing. Pushing yourself to "get back to normal" serves no one.

Some women find that gentle movement helps—walking the Lenape Trail, gentle yoga at one of Westfield's studios, swimming at the Westfield Y. Movement metabolizes stress hormones and can provide a sense of agency when you feel helpless. But this should be nurturing, not punishing.

Navigating Work and Professional Life

New Jersey doesn't mandate bereavement leave for pregnancy loss, though some employers offer it voluntarily. Many women take a few days of sick leave, then return to work still actively grieving. The expectation that you'll be "fine" after a week is unrealistic, yet many workplaces operate on this assumption.

If you work in Manhattan or locally in Westfield, you might need accommodations:

• Flexible scheduling for medical appointments if you need follow-up care

• Permission to step away if you become overwhelmed

• Reduced workload temporarily if concentration is impaired

• Understanding about missed deadlines

HR departments vary in their responsiveness, but documenting your loss and your needs in writing creates a record. Some women find it helpful to designate one person at work (a manager, HR representative, or trusted colleague) to communicate their needs so they don't have to repeatedly explain.

Common Questions Women in Westfield Ask About Miscarriage Grief

How long is it "normal" to grieve?

There's no expiration date on grief. While acute symptoms typically lessen over months, many women find that anniversaries, the due date, the date of the loss, remain emotionally difficult for years. Some women feel they've integrated the loss within months; others find grief resurfaces intensely during subsequent pregnancies or even after successful births. If grief is interfering with your ability to function, you can't work, care for yourself, or maintain relationships, after several months, that suggests complicated grief requiring professional support. But occasional waves of sadness, especially around significant dates, are normal indefinitely.

Should I tell people, or keep my miscarriage private?

This is entirely personal. Some women find that sharing their loss brings support and breaks isolation. Others prefer privacy, either because they're not ready to discuss it, don't trust people to respond supportively, or simply feel it's too raw. In Westfield's interconnected community, word often spreads regardless of what you intend, which can feel intrusive. You might choose to tell close friends and family while keeping it private from acquaintances. You might share on social media or write about your experience. You might tell no one outside your partner. All of these choices are valid. You can also change your mind, starting private and later sharing, or vice versa.

My partner doesn't seem as affected. Does this mean he didn't care?

Partners typically grieve differently, not less. For many men, the pregnancy feels less real before birth, they're not experiencing physical symptoms, hormonal changes, or the embodied connection. This doesn't mean they don't grieve, but their grief may be less immediate or intense. Men also often cope by focusing on logistics (scheduling medical appointments, managing insurance claims) or by trying to be strong for their partner. This can look like not grieving when they're actually suppressing their own feelings. Additionally, societal expectations tell men they shouldn't be emotional, that they need to "hold it together." Couples therapy can help you understand each other's grief processes and feel like you're navigating this together rather than alone.

When should I try to get pregnant again?

Medically, most providers recommend waiting one to three menstrual cycles to allow your uterine lining to rebuild and your hormones to normalize. However, recent research suggests that for women who feel ready emotionally, trying immediately doesn't increase miscarriage risk and may even improve outcomes. The more important question is emotional readiness. Some women desperately want to be pregnant again immediately. Others need time to grieve before facing pregnancy anxiety. There's no "should" here. Discuss your individual situation with your OB-GYN, and make decisions based on your physical and emotional readiness, not external pressure.

What if I'm afraid to try again?

Fear of subsequent pregnancy after miscarriage is entirely rational. You've learned that pregnancy doesn't guarantee a baby, that your body can fail you, that hope can end in devastation. This fear doesn't mean you shouldn't try again; it means you need support if you do. Therapy during a subsequent pregnancy can help manage anxiety. Some women find comfort in early, frequent ultrasounds or Doppler checks at home (though these can also increase anxiety). Having a provider who understands pregnancy after loss, someone who takes your fears seriously and doesn't dismiss them, is crucial. Some OB-GYNs in the area have specific experience with high-anxiety pregnancies and pregnancy after loss.

Should I get genetic testing or other medical workup?

After one miscarriage, most providers don't recommend extensive testing, as approximately 50-70% of early miscarriages are due to random chromosomal abnormalities that aren't recurrent. After two consecutive losses, testing is typically recommended, including: parental chromosome testing (karyotyping), uterine anatomy evaluation (sonohysterogram or hysteroscopy), hormone panels (thyroid, progesterone), autoimmune testing (antiphospholipid antibodies), and possibly thrombophilia screening. If you underwent a D&C, chromosomal testing of pregnancy tissue can sometimes provide answers. Insurance coverage varies—some plans cover testing after two losses, others require three. Even with testing, approximately 50% of recurrent miscarriages remain unexplained, which is deeply frustrating but doesn't mean you can't carry a successful pregnancy.

How do I handle Mother's Day?

Mother's Day after miscarriage is particularly painful. You're not visibly a mother, yet you carried a child. Many bereaved mothers feel excluded from both the celebration and the recognition of their loss. If you have living children, the day may feel bittersweet—grateful for the children you have while grieving the one you lost. Options include: skipping family gatherings if they're too painful, planning an alternative activity that honors your loss, asking your partner to acknowledge you as a mother to the baby you lost, or attending pregnancy loss support events that often occur around Mother's Day. You're allowed to claim the identity of mother even if others don't recognize it. You're also allowed to not want anything to do with the holiday. Both responses are valid.

What if I feel relieved or ambivalent alongside the grief?

Many women experience complicated emotions after miscarriage that include relief—relief that they don't have to continue a difficult pregnancy, relief about timing that wasn't ideal, relief from relationship pressures, or even relief about not becoming a parent right now. These feelings can coexist with profound grief and don't invalidate your loss. Ambivalence is common, especially with unplanned pregnancies. Feeling relieved doesn't mean you didn't want the baby or that you caused the miscarriage. It means you're human and capable of holding multiple truths simultaneously. Therapy provides a space to acknowledge these complicated feelings without judgment.

My friends don't know what to say to me. What do I need from them?

Most people are terrible at responding to grief because they're uncomfortable with pain they can't fix. They offer platitudes ("everything happens for a reason"), silver linings ("at least you know you can get pregnant"), or avoid you entirely. What helps: acknowledgment that this is terrible and you're sorry, offers of practical help (meals, running errands, sitting with you), asking "what do you need?" rather than making assumptions, remembering important dates and checking in, and being willing to hear about your grief without trying to minimize it. You can tell friends explicitly what would help: "I need you to just listen without offering solutions," or "I need you to keep inviting me to things even if I decline," or "I need you to remember my baby existed."

Should I see a grief counselor or a regular therapist?

Ideally, you want a therapist trained in both perinatal loss and grief/trauma. Not all therapists have expertise in pregnancy loss, and working with someone who truly understands this particular grief makes an enormous difference. Look for therapists who list "pregnancy loss," "perinatal grief," "miscarriage," or "reproductive trauma" in their specialties. In the Westfield area, some therapists at practices in Westfield, Summit, Scotch Plains, and Cranford specialize in women's reproductive mental health. Postpartum Support International's directory can help locate specialists. A general therapist can still provide support, but you may need to educate them about the unique aspects of pregnancy loss.

What if I already have children? Does that make my grief less valid?

Absolutely not. Having living children doesn't diminish the loss of this pregnancy. You grieve the specific child you lost, not interchangeable pregnancies. Some aspects may differ, you're not grieving the loss of becoming a mother because you already are one, but you're grieving the loss of this particular child, the sibling your living children won't have, the family composition you'd envisioned. Additionally, having young children while grieving is exhausting—you can't fully retreat into grief because small humans need you. Your loss matters regardless of whether you have other children.

Is it normal to feel angry, at my body, at pregnant women, at God?

Anger is a completely normal grief response. You may feel furious at your body for failing you, at the universe for this injustice, at pregnant women or new mothers whose pregnancies succeeded when yours didn't, at medical providers who couldn't prevent the loss, at friends who say insensitive things, at a God or higher power you feel has betrayed you. This anger doesn't make you a bad person. It's part of the process of integrating a loss that feels fundamentally unfair. Therapy provides a space to express anger that might not feel safe elsewhere, and to eventually work through it without suppression or judgment.

Finding Miscarriage Support in the Westfield Area

Local Therapy Resources

Individual Therapists Look for therapists in Westfield, Summit, Cranford, Scotch Plains, and nearby areas who specialize in perinatal loss. Many therapists offer telehealth, expanding your options beyond strictly local providers.

Overlook Medical Center The Women's & Children's Services at Overlook in Summit may have connections to perinatal mental health resources and support groups, as many Westfield women deliver there.

Support Groups While Westfield doesn't have a dedicated pregnancy loss support group, nearby options include:

• Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support (chapters throughout NJ, including groups in nearby counties)

• Postpartum Support International of NJ offers resources and can connect you to perinatal mental health providers

• Online support communities like Return to Zero: Hope and the Miscarriage Association provide connection when local resources are limited

Religious and Spiritual Resources

For Jewish Families Temple Emanu-El and other Westfield synagogues may have clergy trained in supporting families through pregnancy loss. Jewish bereavement rituals can be adapted for miscarriage.

For Catholic Families The Catholic Church of St. Helen's and other area parishes sometimes offer memorial services for pregnancy loss. The Archdiocese of Newark has resources for grieving parents.

For Other Faith Traditions Many Westfield churches and spiritual communities offer pastoral counseling and grief support that can be adapted to pregnancy loss.

Medical Providers

If you're seeking a new OB-GYN who understands pregnancy loss, or if your current provider was dismissive, look for practices that explicitly mention pregnancy loss support, recurrent miscarriage care, or high-risk pregnancy. Some women in Westfield travel to Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey (RMA) or other specialized fertility centers if they're experiencing recurrent losses and need specialized care.

Moving Forward While Carrying Your Baby With You

Healing from miscarriage doesn't mean forgetting your baby or "getting over" the loss. It means learning to carry the loss with you while also reengaging with life. It means the grief becomes integrated rather than all-consuming. It means you can think about your baby without falling apart, can see pregnant women without rage or despair, can imagine a future that holds both the reality of your loss and the possibility of hope.

For some women, healing includes becoming pregnant again and having living children. For others, it means building a fulfilling life that doesn't include children, either by choice or circumstance. For many, it means existing in the uncertainty of not knowing what the future holds while working to find meaning in the present.

Westfield will remain full of families, playgrounds, and baby strollers. That won't change. What changes through healing is your capacity to exist in that environment without constant pain, to hold your own story alongside others' stories, to honor your loss while also allowing joy back into your life.

Your baby mattered. Your grief matters. Your healing matters. And you don't have to do any of this alone. Support exists, even when it's hard to find. And on the hardest days, when you're sitting on that bench in Mindowaskin Park, overwhelmed by grief, remember that healing isn't linear, that setbacks don't erase progress, and that you're allowed to take as long as you need.

The path through grief is long and winding, but there is a path. And you're allowed to walk it at your own pace, with support, with honesty about how hard this is, and with the knowledge that carrying this loss doesn't mean you can't also carry hope.