Glass Balls and Rubber Balls
Lisa Greenstein Therapy September 2026
Between us Moms (and those trying to be)
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Glass Balls, Rubber Balls
There’s something about fall that always feels a little bit like a reset: new supplies, clean notebooks, new routines. Even though I’m long past being a student, and even before it was my kids getting the new supplies, I’ve always found myself wanting to set new intentions and learn something new at this time of year.
Recently, I’ve started running more EMDR consultation groups for therapists working toward EMDR certification, and I’m constantly reminded of how much I learn from the clinicians in the room: the questions they ask, the ways they conceptualize cases, and the different perspectives they bring.
I also recently completed my certification in Perimenopause and Menopause Behavioral Health Coaching, an area that feels like it is having a bit of a renaissance right now. I noticed that as soon as I turned 40, my social media feed was suddenly flooded with reels telling me to eat more protein and reminding me that basically every symptom under the sun, including, apparently, itchy ears, could be a sign of perimenopause. At the same time, I was noticing how many clients and friends were emerging from the intensity of pregnancy, postpartum, and early motherhood into a new phase and wondering: Is this anxiety? Is this ADHD? Is this perimenopause brain fog and irritability? Or is this simply what life feels like in your late 30s and 40s while working, parenting, and managing a household, and trying to remember what it felt like with your spouse before you had all these responsibilities to juggle?
The more I learned, the more I kept coming back to another question: Does it always matter exactly which one it is? While it can be incredibly helpful to understand what is driving a symptom and whether medical, hormonal, psychological, or environmental factors are contributing to it, the answer isn’t always so black and white. We know that some women are particularly sensitive to changes in estrogen, which can affect anxiety, irritability, attention, and mood through its effects on serotonin, dopamine, and other neurotransmitter systems. In other words, saying that something is related to perimenopause doesn’t mean it is completely separate from anxiety, ADHD, or mood. These systems overlap and influence one another. We can do a little sleuthing, but sometimes we may never know with complete certainty. And I think we can usually still work on the symptoms, even without having one perfectly clear explanation for them.
While all of this has been occupying the professional side of my brain, fall has also been particularly full outside of work. Between supporting two kids transitioning to middle school and one to third grade, three kids on three different travel hockey teams and involved in a slew of other activities, I’ve found myself returning to another idea I first heard from a client years ago: glass balls and rubber balls.
The idea is that in life, and certainly in parenting, we are always juggling multiple balls, often more than we feel capable of handling. On any given day, part of the work is figuring out which balls are glass and which are rubber. Which ones, if we drop them, will bounce and wait for us to pick them back up? Which ones will make a huge mess if we drop them? And which ones can we intentionally and gently put down?
When your baby is little, some of these are relatively easy to identify. Watching your baby in the bathtub? Glass ball. Getting in that last minute of tummy time when everyone is screaming? Probably rubber. Matching baby clothes? Definitely rubber. Knowing which is which can make the difference between maintaining some semblance of sanity and constantly feeling guilty that you’re not doing a good enough job.
As kids get older, though, I think it becomes harder to tell. For me this week, one of the rubber balls was attending the parents’ meeting for one of my twins’ hockey teams. Thankfully, that one was rubber, because I dropped it before I even realized it was a ball I was supposed to be juggling. The Tooth Fairy dropped a few balls in our house this week too. Getting this newsletter out at some point early this month felt like a glass ball, but apparently it was one that could be very gently set down for a little while.
Maybe that’s part of what I keep learning, both personally and professionally: we don’t necessarily need to become better at juggling everything all at once. Sometimes we just need to get better at deciding what actually deserves to stay in the air. And while we won’t get it right every time, even when we drop a ball we thought was glass, we can usually find a broom, clean up the mess, and before we know it, walk barefoot again.
Thanks for reading my monthly- ish newsletter. Designed specifically for moms and those trying to be, this space is dedicated to providing resources you'll actually use, ideas on how to stay connected to who you are during this season that demands so much, warm encouragement for your perinatal journey, and some laughs during those parenting (and trying to conceive) WTF moments. I'm so glad you're here, and I hope you find what you need
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